Language: The Language of Science Humour

We all know how science progresses. We read about it every day. In fact... we're so familiar with the language and the forms of progress that we instantly know when they're being spoofed spectacularly. It's nice to realize that even science has its own special and recognizable language.

Step one... after the research is done... the scientific paper must be written. The best illustration of this is the aptly named Chicken Chicken Chicken: Chicken Chicken (pdf) by Doug Zongker. If you've never read a scientific paper before I suggest you start here. If you have read a scientific paper before I insist you read this one as well.

Step two... the findings must be presented to a conference of fellow scientists. It's a short presentation. I do suggest you stick around for the questions. Not only is the source of funding challenged but an important question is raised which demands a follow up by the Doug Zongker.

Step three... a scientific paper is read by a journalist who shares the findings in a newspaper article. The article will be formulaic and predictable but it will be all most people will ever read.

There. Now you know how to write your own scientific paper, how to present it, and how to have it written up. Just do a search and replace for some key words and you too can write your way to scientific superstardom.